Numb
by Tris-Prior4and6
Summary: *Allegiant Spoilers* Veronica forgot to finish a chapter, so I will! Alternate ending to Allegiant. "My mother just smiles at me, and I can't feel anything. I don't miss her, I don't want to follow her, I don't want to go back. I am numb. She slowly disappears and the light fades. Slowly, and then all at once the light goes out, and I still feel nothing."


I slide to the floor. I feel something warm on my neck, and under my cheek. Red. Blood is a strange color. Dark.

From the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over in his chair.

And my mother walking out from behind him.

She is dressed in the same clothes she wore the last time I saw her. Abnegation gray, stained with her blood, with bare arms to show her tattoo. There are still bullet holes in her shirt; through them I can see her wounded skin, red but no longer bleeding, like she is frozen in time. Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, but a few lose strands frame her face in gold.

I know she can't be alive, but I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from the blood loss or if the death serum has addled my thoughts or if she is here in some other way.

She kneels next to me and touches a cold hand to my cheek.

"Hello Beatrice," she says, and she smiles.

"Am I done yet?" I say, and I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think it and she hears it.

"No my child; you still have a long way to go," she says and she caresses my cheek with her thumb.

"But mother, I am so tired, and my body is so numb. Can I please be done?" I feel like I'm begging, but I do not know for what. I'm just so tired.

"There is a reason you must stay, Beatrice. There is always a reason." I close my eyes, and when I open them again I cannot look directly at my mother. She is bright, too bright to see.

"Mother will you come back? Will you come back to me?" I have a feeling that I will not like the answer, but I must ask. I have to hear it.

"I believe you know the answer to that, Beatrice. My job has been done, but yours hasn't. Now, I must go my child." She starts to back away from me, and she turns to walk into the bright light.

"Wait mother, what must I do? What is the reason I can't come with you?" I feel a tug in my stomach pulling me back into the nothingness. My mother just smiles at me, and I can't feel anything. I don't miss her, I don't want to follow her, I don't want to go back. I am numb.

She slowly disappears and the light fades. Slowly, and then all at once the light goes out, and I still feel nothing.

...

There is something warm on my arm. It feels heavy, but my body feels heavier. I can't move my limbs, and I can't feel anything except the weight on my arm.

Then I realise that my shoulder hurts, and so does my neck; but it doesn't feel like pain. I know that it hurts, but I only feel a tingle. The weight moves, it is no longer on my body. I feel like the bed is sucking me in, trying to consume me.

"Tris," I hear softy. It takes me a second to recognize the sound as a voice. The voice sounds comforting, loving. I want to hear more.

"Please wake up soon. People miss you here, more than you would realize." I hear the voice, but I don't recognize it, and I don't understand the words. My whole brain is fuzzy, and the tingling has slowly started to migrate to other parts of my body. It is spreading like an infection.

I hear footsteps and one final word before I hear a clicking noise. The tingling has spread everywhere except for my head; it feels like my whole body should be in pain. But it doesn't hurt.

The tingling spreads to my neck, then to my chin. And finally after what seems like ages it reaches my head. The numbness starts to fade, and suddenly my body seems less heavy.

Another click. This time I can comprehend it, it is a door opening. I hear soft voices, but I cannot understand them. They must be whispering. My shoulder starts to ache. A deep ache that seems to originate deep in my body. It hurts.

Pain. I am feeling pain. No more numbness. I try to gather enough energy to speak.

"Tobias?" I ask to the nothingness. My voice does not fully work, it comes out raspy and thick. My eyes are still closed; I am so tired.

The voices stop and I hear fast feet hitting the ground. I feel a weight again on my body. This time, I can trace its location. It is on my arm. It feels heavier than the last weight.

I hear my name being called, telling me to open my eyes. I want to listen to them, I really do, but I can't. I just don't have the energy. "Tobias..." I whisper, and I am not able to speak any louder.

The tingling in my body was aslowly turning to pain at first, but now the pain exists everywhere and my whole body hurts. It is no longer an ache; it is a paralysizing pain that wants to consume me. But I will not let it. I will not go numb again.

The weight moves again, this time to my cheek. It feels different than the pain, it just feels heavy. The hand seems to be wet, I wonder with what. It might be blood.

"Tris, Tris please wake up." I feel a drop of warm liquid fall onto my face. Tears. Tobias, it is Tobias. It is his voice. I suddenly feel a rush of energy that I only feel when I am about to do something dangerous. It is the rush I get zip lining.

I understand why mother told me I had to come back; I haven't finished living. I still have work to do.

I open my eyes.

**AN: Hello everyone! I wrote this as a one shot, but as I got to the end I realized I could extend this into a full story. If you would like to see this story continued, please review and tell me. If I have enough interest I will continue it. Also, the beginning of this chapter I took directly from the books. If you recognized it, that is why! I give all credit to Veronica Roth to the characters and the beginning, but I take credit for the rest. Thank you all so much and remember, Review!**


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